Thursday, October 31, 2013

Should You Take Your Sex Dreams Literally? w/Deb Dutilh

We talked with Deb Dutilh, Relationship and Communication Maven, about your sexy dreams. Should you take them literally? What if you dream of an ex? How can you remember your dreams to figure them out?

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Talking - Really Talking to Your Partner Is Key! Wanna Few Conversation Starters?

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Wacky Wednesday - Sex Dreams Can Be Pretty Weird


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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Make a Homemade Spa For Your Lover

You are on your feet all day.  Those boots weren't made for walking ;) or maybe it was those dress shoes.  Ugh.  You walk in the door and so wish that there was someone just waiting there with a foot bath and ready to massage your feet!  

Well, if you can't have that, you can have the next best thing.  I remember a few years back when we borrowed an electric foot massager for a "spa day" that some of us created for our kids' school teachers.  I must admit I really enjoyed having it.  It was freaking awesome!  I am thinking maybe it is time to check out some new ones :)

Oh, here is an awesome idea.  Would you love to create a special evening for your sweetheart - one he/she will never forget?  How about getting a foot massager…there are so many different kinds (check out to compare)…you could then light some candles, run a hot bath, offer a full body massage (after the initial foot massage), have food delivered, play some soft music or a favorite movie and make your lover feel super special.

Do you wish your partner would do this for you?  Well, maybe you should share this post on your FB wall or his/hers?  :)  **Hint hint.

Off to relax,
Janelle & Rob

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Monday, October 28, 2013

Free Unique Digital "Magazine" for Couples

Have you seen the October issue of The Couples' Spot: Relationship Advice for Couples.  It is FREE!

Pick it up for your iPad from iTunes.

This publication is for those couples that want to have a healthy, happy and thriving relationship.  We cover a broad range of topics from exercise to sexual happiness, from financial help to spirituality, and everything in between.  

There is no road map to a wonderful relationship.  It takes constant work, changes and adjustments to keep your relationship well oiled and running smoothly.  This publication is designed to give you ideas and suggestions on things to help you keep your relationship growing.  Continual growth in your relationship is vital if you want it to last a long time.  

Within your relationship we encourage you to get busy, get spiritual, and laugh your ass off!  When you can do all three of these, combined with the love you have for each other, you will have a formula for a successful relationship.  You might not agree with everything we say and we don't expect you to.  However, take what works or feels right for you, implement it and leave the rest behind.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Lover to Lover - A Wedding Poem

Lover to Lover

I do not know why or how or from where I love you
My heart and my soul merge with yours

Our consciousness expands and shares
Abundant love with Mother Earth and the Universe
As we bare our souls and spread our wings

We come together and create this union, this oneness
We stand strong as equal parts
Yet, it is not understood where one ends and the other begins

My arms promise you a safe and sacred space
I open my heart to you trusting and loving

I take your hand and you take mine
I touch your soul and you touch mine
Together we traverse the journey called life

And, so it is.

Copyright 2013 Janelle Alex, Ph.D.
*Written for a wedding ceremony

Photo credit: © AnnaPa -

Saturday, October 26, 2013

The Best Way to Handle Infidelity

Surviving an affair means among other things that you are paying for someone else's failure.
There will be plenty of work to be done after the extramarital relationship because due to your actions you've done a lot of damage to your marital relationship which is hanging by a strand
Yet after discussing the situation with your mate they have made up their mind to stick with you. That means there is a lot of hard work ahead regarding coping with infidelity. In spite of true love as well as effort there are no guarantees that life will ever get back to normal or even that the spousal relationship itself will carry on. Even so to ensure that it does move in the right direction and beyond you will need to be ready to agree to particular guidelines.

1. Stop The Dishonesty

No question fabrication was a huge part of your toolkit. Let's be perfectly frank you can't successfully carry on a marital affair without it.

Yet making it through an extramarital relationship means it must stop now if you want to get back your significant other's trust. Any kind of lie regardless of how small that gets found out is only going to wreck any attempt to repair the marital relationship. In case your mate catches you in a small white fib then most likely they may believe you're being misleading regarding other issues.

And please, none of that self-delusional nonsense. You lied to shield them or you didn't believe that it was an issue. All of it amounts to the very same thing which is you're returning to your old ways of deception which drove you to have an affair to begin with. The old saying telling the truth is still the best policy must be the foundation stone of your marriage when it relates to getting over cheating.

2. No Self-Pity

It may seem that all the profound changes in lifestyle you are forced to go through along with the monitoring system needed to keep track of your behavior is not in accordance what you did. So you begin to feel sorry for yourself. You even attempt to diminish what you did. Cheating on your mate was not so bad you tell yourself. Definitely not as compared to what you are forced to undergo at this juncture. 

Stop right there. You're not the victim here and pretending that you are is only going to block the healing. Step back and make the concerted effort to not concentrate on you. Instead concentrate on your mate and the way they feel. In surviving an affair rebuilding the spousal relationship is the work of both individuals but the person impacted the most is your spouse whom you cheated on.

3. You Are Not The Decider

You come to a time during this rehab phase and make a decision that things are back to what they used to be so you start slacking on a few things. Absolutely wrong. It is important to accept the fact you are likely to munch on humble pie for some time. Just how long is awhile? Until your mate determines. It's about them feeling better not you.

Overcoming an affair means they essentially are in charge of how things will go. Yes they need to obtain your suggestions from time to time but in the end it's up to them. You can easily check out how things are going on occasion but don't seek to hurry the process or try to mold your spouse into seeing things your way. To be frank you did enough manipulating while you were cheating.

4. Be Attentive

There are certainly likely to be times when your mate wishes to vent. It is oftentimes a very essential recovery activity for surviving cheating. That may entail they talk about what you did again and again. Be prepared to pay close attention regardless of how frequently they bring it up. You wounded them deeply so discussing it again and again is a method to work through the anguish.

Do not assume your spouse to talk about it several times and then feel 100% better. A lot of people have to attend therapy for many years to deal with overcoming unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness in a spousal relationship can ruin not only someone's self-esteem but destroy the psyche to the point all they can think about is what their mate did. It is an uncomfortable process you you placed them in so be ready whenever required to provide your undivided attention.

by Daryl Campell

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Friday, October 25, 2013

Witches on Broomsticks and the X-Rated Truth

**Maybe.  Maybe not.  You can't know for sure unless you were there, but this is an interesting, if not odd, possibility.

Witches on Broomsticks and the X Rated Truth

Expert Author Michelle Haskins
Witches have always been depicted as ugly hideous beings that could cast spells on people and turn themselves into animals, such as black cats. We also know them as women that ride on broomsticks through the night sky with the moon at their backs. Why? How did it come to be that witches were immortalized with broomsticks? Has anyone ever seen a witch actually flying around? More than likely they have not.
The truth of the matter is in no way pretty, nor is it G rated. Long ago witches could have been considered the hippies of their time. They believed in using herbal medicine to cure many different types of ailments. At the same time they also believed they could cast spells upon people with the same theory. Hence the term witches brew for the concoctions that were created by them. Some of the main ingredients in these concoctions were animal body parts and organs as well as plants and plant extract. Soon it was discovered that certain plants could give a person a sense of euphoria when it was ingested, such as jimson weed or deadly night shade.
As the practice became more popular it was discovered that there was a down side. If too much of one plant was ingested through the stomach at once the results could be fatal. Soon witches realized that it could be ingested through various glands in the human body foregoing the metabolizing effect from the liver. They soon began creating creams and "ointments" from the plant extracts and rubbing them in their armpits and vaginas.
Witches then began to cover broomsticks with these creams and ointments. They would then straddle the staff and rub it on their vaginas, taking them to state of euphoria so that they appeared to be dancing or riding on their brooms. Depending on the amount that had been absorbed onto their body they may have felt as if they were indeed, flying.
We can look back through ancient art history and find paintings that lean towards this theory. There are several paintings that depict witches in the nude with their broomsticks. One painting in particular depicts an entire room of witches dancing around a room with their broomsticks, completely nude.
Luckily, we have evolved over time and now simply view witches as ugly women who have black cats and warts on the end of their noses, using their brooms only for the purpose of transportation.
Get some great ideas for Halloween this year. Spook Here If You Dare
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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Fall In Love On The Bus...

“For me happiness occurs arbitrarily: a moment of eye contact on a bus, where all at once you fall in love; or a frozen second in a park where it's enough that there are trees in the world.” - Russell Brand

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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Are You Wonder Woman? Be Who You Really Are - Not Who "They" Want You To Be

Recent Sexy Challenge Heartbeats podcast episodes...

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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

How Can Newlyweds Set Up For a Successful Marriage

**We had some technical difficulties; therefore, the audio/video is out of sync.  But, the information is great.  So, listen anyway :) 

Talking with Marian Meade, a mindful marriage coach, we discussed the importance of preparing for a good marriage versus just blindly going in and expecting it to be happily ever after.

In this interview, we share a few tips to help newlyweds (or soon to be) to set up their marriage for success!  

Watch now! 

Find out more about Marian at 

Monday, October 21, 2013

Love Doesn't Move In A Straight Line

"Love is not linear. Sex is not rational. Emotions won't cooperate with the mind's methodical attempts to analyze lust's sticky substance.  The brain will not sit idly by and watch while the heart, lungs, groin, and guts break from convention and dive headlong into the sensual experience."  

-- Stephanie DeRosier via The Marriage of Sex and Spirit

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Nature Lovers! Share Your Love In Unique Way

Recently Rob and I drove from Colorado to Montana (to the west side of Glacier National Park...almost to Canada) so I could perform the wedding ceremony for two of my dearest friends.  

They are huge nature lovers!  Therefore, I thought I would share this Intimate Adventure that I wrote a couple of years back in honor of them and their love (for each other and for nature). 

Intimate Adventures are sacred ceremonies for couples. They take ordinary life and make them special. Allowing both partners to enjoy the connection they share. With the vision of creating a warm and wonderful spot of couples to journey together Intimate Adventures offers these suggestions of ceremonies for the two of you to enjoy.

Nature Lovers is a way to bring the beauty and power of nature into your relationship. With each falling leave we learn,
 with each rock we find adventure. Our relationship is nature so why do we not invite nature into our relationship. 

Check it out here... Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble

Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Virtual Wedding - HA!

Oh, boy!  What if wedding officiants get replaced with a computer version?
Talk about impersonal!

Friday, October 18, 2013

The Home Repair That Makes a Marriage Sexy

The Home Repair That Makes A Marriage Sexy

Is the foundation of your marriage full of cracks?
Are you lacking the tools to fix what's broken?
If you are a "Do It Yourself" type of guy, don't the proper repairs result in increased value and appreciation?
Funny how these questions resonate as much with home repair as marriage!
You see, unhappy marriages are epidemic in our nation. Married men are miserable and frustrated with their wives and sex life. Divorce is at an all time high and second marriages have a divorce rate even higher than first timers. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are easy solutions to make your marriage as great as it can be.
Did you know that if you were to spend just a fraction of the attention that you focus on your projects and rechannel that attention to your wife, you would have a much better, and sexually fulfilling, marriage?
Truth is, you can make your wife happy by paying attention to her only 1% of your day and still have lots of time to work on your hobbies.
You see, after we get married, we forget to do the things we did for our wives when we dated. Remember how attentive you were to her? How you called her all the time, were thoughtful by remembering things she liked, and took her out to do fun things together? You even were happy to attack her "Honey Do" list!
But now, you are constantly looking for things to do that distract you from having to spend time with her. You have given up as things are not like they were in the good old days. You truly feel that you get more pleasure being alone and doing your projects.
But you know what? Your wife is starving, absolutely starving for your attention. She wants you to romance her and pay attention to her. But you have stopped! Yet you still expect just a little bit of attention right before bedtime to result in her wanting to jump your naked body!
Nope, you need to work at it, just like you need to invest time in your projects to see a great final product that provides satisfaction.
Start calling your wife endearing names like you used to. Take her out on a date and treat her like you did when you first met. Call her during the day and let her know that you miss her. Hold her hand when you walk down the street. Give her a back massage. And do all these things WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN!
You can't expect years of neglect to correct things overnight. It took years for that roof to fall apart. And it may take weeks to fix it. Think of your marriage as a home repair project. Make a plan, get organized, invest in the proper tools, do a little bit every day, and be proud of what you have done.
You won't believe the love and intimacy you receive from your wife by applying a similar planning and project completion strategy to your marriage.
~ Steve
Steve Schloss is an author, public speaker and men's relationship acceleration coach who offers one-on-one coaching to help men rejuvenate the fun and love in their marriage virtually overnight. A graduate of The University of Wisconsin with an MBA degree, his professional career in publishing and marketing includes 30 years in corporate America with assignments at Meredith, Hearst and SourceMedia. Steve currently lives in Princeton, NJ, has two grown children and is in a wonderfully loving relationship.
For more information about "The Man's Secret to a Happy and Sexy Marriage in Less than 10 Minutes a Day", please visit
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Thursday, October 17, 2013

You Are Wrong - I Am Right! Do's and Don'ts and Magic Words

We talked with Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Breakthrough Coaches, about the age old argument between couples - who is right and who is wrong. And, they share a number of tips and insights into communicating with your sweetie. Check it out for lots of great info! 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Make Football Sexy!

Recent Sexy Challenge Heartbeats podcast episodes...

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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Marriage Is An Institution - But What Kind?

A little humor for you today...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx 

Of course, you can create a wonderful doesn't have to feel like being trapped or locked in.  :)

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Monday, October 14, 2013

Practice a Little Sexy Voodoo for Halloween

Halloween is sneaking up on you.  Maybe it is time you shared a little unique intimate play with your sweetie?

How about creating a Voodoo Love Doll?  The two of you can have a lot of fun with this.

Voodoo Dolls are not really what you might think.  This Sexy Challenge will help you transform your concept of Voodoo into a passionate and loving experience.  Create and share a voodoo love doll with your sweetheart while discovering a unique and powerful connection between your souls.

Find many more great Sexy Challenges on Amazon, iTunes and at Barnes and Noble.  Also, listen to our free podcast, Sexy Challenge Heartbeats at iTunes or online.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Can You Really Stay Close For Years and Years?

We believe that couples can stay close - emotionally, romantically, and physically throughout their relationship.  It doesn't matter how long they are together.  *Now mind you, we realize that there are simply times that people grow apart no matter how much they try to grow together.  Or they really weren't meant to be together to begin with.  In those situations, there is nothing wrong with moving on. But, for those couples who simply drift apart without conscious thought or they fall into a rut of the relationship just being "good enough" we want them to know that they can have a deeply connected relationship.  They can be best friends and amazing lovers.

By sharing amazing tips, advice, guidance and creating sexy, sensual and sacred scenarios for couples we open a door for couples to step through and find ways to keep the spark alive.

And, we just so happen to do this through our daily blog and over 80 ebooks - Sexy Challenges and Intimate Adventures and more via Amazon, iTunes, and Barnes and Noble.  And, of course, through our podcast, Sexy Challenge Heartbeats.  Wanna pick some up or subscribe to the podcast for free?  What are you waiting for?

Keeping it sacred and sexy,
Janelle and Rob

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Saturday, October 12, 2013

Connect Through Your Previous Experiences

We want to thank Mali Apple and Joe Dunn for sharing an excerpt of their book, The Soulmate Experience with us.  

Our past experiences have the potential to greatly contribute to our relationship. Many of us, though, are uncomfortable hearing about our partner’s previous lovers and sexual encounters. We may be inclined to judge our romantic and sexual experiences against theirs or to compare ourselves to their past lovers. We may be concerned if our partner expresses appreciation or affection for a former lover. Many couples, usually through an unspoken agreement, simply avoid the topic altogether.
Some people, while intrigued by their partner’s previous intimacies and the idea of sharing their own, have either been conditioned to stay clear of the subject or don’t think their partner would be receptive. Other people would be comfortable relating their own stories, but would rather avoid the insecurities that would surface if they listen to their partner’s.
Because many of us tend to experience jealousy in these situations, we’re often advised to be cautious about which experiences we share and how much we reveal. We’re warned not to say anything that could make our partner feel inadequate or insecure. But if we set up our relationships so that we must censor ourselves and try to anticipate and avoid whatever might trigger our partner’s jealousy, we may never know the profound intimacy that’s at the heart of a truly connected relationship.
When we have the tools and the intentions in place to heal any uncomfortable feelings that surface, sharing our past romances and sexual encounters with our lover can be a path to deeper intimacy. Revealing aspects of ourselves that we normally keep hidden, and exploring them with the person we love, is true intimacy. A safe, loving space is also an ideal environment for investigating and beginning to heal painful memories or lingering wounds from sexual experiences that were embarrassing, diminishing, or traumatic. Through this process, you might also be inspired to investigate them further with the help of a coach or counselor.
If you and your partner decide to try sharing your memories and experiences, it will be a very personal process. When you’re the storyteller, you might paint a scene for your partner by describing the setting and how you were feeling. When you’re the listener, you might just offer your partner your loving presence, listening fully and letting go of any opinions, judgments, or agenda. Or you might ask questions that encourage your partner to explore the memory more deeply. Whatever approaches the two of you take, have an intention to stay completely connected. If uncomfortable feelings are triggered, turning your attention to exploring and healing them can be a truly loving experience.
As you connect through your intimate stories, your relationship circle will expand to embrace your previous experiences. Instead of feeling separate from each other’s past, you will be drawing on those pasts to contribute to your present—together.

Excerpted with permission from The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn. This bestselling book won a 2012 International Book Awards gold medal and a 2012 Living Now Awards silver medal. Mali and Joe are currently deep in the creation process of the second book in “The Soulmate Experience” series, The Soulmate Lover.

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