Monday, January 27, 2014

When Your Smiling Sex Is Better

Few couples make the connection between a partner's low sex drive and a mood disorder such as depression. While most people know what it feels like to be down or have "the blues," depression is a serious mental illness that can interfere with a person's sexuality and relationship in all kinds of ways. Many people, however, don't know what depression looks like, and that's a problem, because if you don't know what you're faced with, you're going to have a hard time making things better.
Depression and a low sex drive go together in a couple of ways:
  • Fatigue is a big part of depression, so if you frequently feel "too tired" for sex, it might be a symptom of a mood problem.
  • You may not enjoy things you used to enjoy doing, and sex may be one of them.
  • Although you may be hurting, your behavior may send signals that you want to be left alone, causing emotional distance between yourself and your partner.
  • You feel lethargic, as if you could hardly move; since sex requires movement, it carries little appeal.
  • Feeling hopeless or helpless are common in depression--and not very sexy.
Feeling depressed is not a sign of a character flaw. In our culture, we are often told to "Buck up," "Get on with life," or "Smile, it's contagious," which makes admitting that one is down very difficult. Depression happens for all kinds of reasons, but is usually connected to feelings of loss or worthlessness. Depression can also be physical, as when someone's hormones are out of balance or there is a chronic illness. Unfortunately, depression sometimes gets missed because not everyone knows its symptoms.
You might also consider that one reason you may be feeling depressed is because you aren't having enough sex. Orgasm helps the body to relax. Many brain chemicals, including serotonin, are released in the brain during orgasm. If you are in the habit of denying your sexual needs, you might be at risk for depression. If you don't have a partner available or don't feel up to partnered sex, you might try self-pleasuring in order to have sexual, physical, and emotional release from built up tension.
If you suspect that depression is getting in the way of sexual connection and pleasure, you have many options for getting better, including medication, psychotherapy, and self-help, e.g., developing a more positive outlook and a healthy routine. Please be aware that antidepressants can have sexual side effects, which you should discuss with your physician. In the meantime, you and your partner will need to learn how to stay connected even though you may feel bad. Try to tune into yourself to see what you might need, rather than denying yourself. Listen to what your partner needs, too, because feeling needed may help you feel less depressed.
Dr. Stephanie Buehler is the author of Sex, Love, and Mental Illness: A Couple's Guide to Staying Connected. She is a psychologist, sex therapist, and Director of The Buehler Institute in Newport Beach, CA. If you want to learn more about relationships and sexuality, visit her blog at

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Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Key to Romantic Success is Self-Confidence

Building Self Confidence With Self Hypnosis

Self-hypnosis is quite widely used to assist people in overcoming addictions. It is not something that can be used for all types of addictions and it may not always be successful for everyone, but many have found it to be very useful in assisting them to beat their addictions. Self hypnosis is most useful for addictions that do not involve withdrawals and that are not deeply rooted.
One very common use of self hypnosis is to assist with changing a person's mindset and for self improvement. It can be very useful in helping with anger issues, self worth issues and self confidence.
Self hypnosis is also very useful to assist people that want to increase their learning ability, improve their memory and improve their concentration skills. Students can find self hypnosis very valuable to help them excel academically by improving memory and concentration skills. Relieving pain is another use of self hypnosis and is often used after a medical procedure or for chronic pain.
Self hypnosis has also been used by some people to quick smoking although it has varied results with some people giving up smoking after just one session, while others haven't given up at all. It is believed that the individual's personality and response will determine the effectiveness of self hypnosis. Some people are much easier to hypnotize than others.
Hypnosis has been around for hundreds of years and it's only in more recent times that it is being used more widely to treat pain, addictions and to make improvements in one's self.
Some people don't believe that hypnosis is safe and some churches believe that it opens up the mind to the devil. Self hypnosis is actually quite safe because you are ultimately in control of your own mind. Self hypnosis gives you the control over your own mind, as opposed to hypnosis by a hypnotherapist when you are handing over control.
When using self hypnosis it usually has a slower response than when using a qualified hypnotherapist. It may take a while before you really notice any changes and you may need to work a bit harder at the process.
One criticism that hypnosis has had is that instead of a patient changing their behavior, they are actually allowing someone to manipulate their behavior. When using self hypnosis you are actually changing your own behavior as you alone are putting in the effort.
Before starting any self hypnosis session you need to get instructions from a professional hypnotist, you shouldn't just jump straight in on your own. They can answer any questions that you have and guide you through your sessions. So even with self hypnosis there is still some professional involvement as they will be monitoring your progress.
It is still not known what is more effective - professionally administered hypnosis or self hypnosis. It will also vary from person to person as to how well they respond to the sessions. Just the fact that with self hypnosis you have complete control over yourself makes it a very popular choice.
Using self hypnosis to improve your self confidence will help you to have a happier, confidence outlook on life. You can get rid of the negative thoughts and stress that are holding you back and proceed with life with confidence.

This post was sponsored by Brian Walsh, PhD
Photo credit: © carlacastagno -

5 Keys to Attract Her

Take a moment to picture yourself with the following woman… She has a radiant smile. She engages you in fun banter. The two of you to laugh together with ease. When you want to go out to a movie, concert, or some other form of entertainment, you immediately think of going with her. You love sharing experiences with this woman. - Read the full article by clicking here.

What are the 5 Attraction Keys included in this article?
  1. Your Smile
  2. Your Laugh
  3. Your Banter
  4. Your Entertainment
  5. Your Shared Experiences
Get the details of each of these keys here.

If you're looking to meet the love of your life, you need to know how to talk to him/her.  Check out Stylelife by Neil Strauss at

Photo credit: © Martin Cintula -

Friday, January 24, 2014

Water Is Full Of Love

Water is a conductor of love.

If your like most people, there is a strong connection between water and romance.  Think about it what are the most romantic places. The Beach, waterfalls, lakes, streams, etc it is my feeling that water conducts love!  I feel like when you are near a body of water that you can feel the love of all the other lovers that have been by that body of water.  Now if you are open, that love will fill you up and create even more love in the two of you.

Try this next time you are near a body of water and see how romantic you feel.  

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Love of Intelligence - Sapiosexual

We love to look at each other but when intelligence is there, sexy goes to another level.  

Sexy Challenges Love Intelligence

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Music Is Powerful, Sexy, Romantic, + A Huge Part of Life

It really doesn't matter whether you like rock, country, jazz, classical or hip hop.  Music surrounds us pretty much everywhere we go and within so many aspects of our daily lives.  And nowadays our kids even listen to it at school at times (some teachers will even allow iPods/iPhones during study time).

Music can transform you.  It can be therapy.  It can bring back memories from yesterday or from decades ago.

What music or what song(s) in particular do you relate to you and your sweetie?  This would be a great subject to strike up with your honey tonight.  Name that tune - ;)

This post was sponsored by Tarek Sidani - He needs help to get his album recorded and produced!

If you like his sound, watch this next video and help him out.

Love Sometimes Comes In Small Packages

Small love experiences bring big rewards.

But, what about a different kind of small package of love?
There are the romantic little gifts and there are the sexy ones.

Check out an elegant site where you can find sexy little gifts -

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Ladies Time For You To Be Romantic

Women when you think of romance what do you envision. Candle light dinner, walks on the beach, making love under in a dim lit room, might pop into your head. Do you think these are the things your partner is thinking about when you talk about romance. Sure he/she might like to do these things to be romantic for you but what do you feel like they would like you to do that they would see as romantic? Maybe taking them to the big game, hot steamy lingerie worn for their pleasure, or even time spent on the couch snuggling during the race with both of you yelling at your favorite driver. You have to remember your vision of romance and his are going to be different, so when you are trying to be romantic for him, cater the evening towards his tastes. Like wise you would love to be catered to when he is trying to romance you. We have to look at it through the eyes of our partner to see their vision of romance. Be bold and ask them what they feel would be romantic then store the knowledge for later down the road. Remember you are trying to make them feel wonderful not you! Your turn will come.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Find The Perfect Photographer to Capture the True Essence of You as a Couple

Finding the right photographer is so important.  Don't the two of you deserve to have amazing photos that capture the essence of who you are?  Preserve those memories for the two of you and for your children and grandchildren!

It doesn't matter where you live, research your photographer - get a true feel for him or her.  Don't just do a quick Google search and take the least inexpensive one.  Choose a photographer who will honor your love by capturing your energy and personalities in your photos!  

As I am writing this post, this idea keeps popping into my head that I need to suggest to you that you plan a special trip to San Francisco (if you don't live there to begin with) and arrange an unforgettable photo session with Joseph Pascua.  Maybe these could be your engagement photos or anniversary photos?  Wouldn't that be a lot of fun?    

Joe specializes in fusing elegant, contemporary, and photojournalistic styles.  He offers a unique, yet classy touch to your photos! 

How to Get Your Lover to Fall Back in Love With You

How to Get Lover Back - Tips to Get Your Lover to Fall Back in Love With You

When a love affair starts, everything usually seems to be perfect. The newness is exciting and there is a lot of anticipation regarding where the relationship will go. This is sometimes referred to as the "honeymoon period." Unfortunately, this honeymoon period does not last forever.
At some point, your lover may seem like he has fallen out of love with you and you may wonder how you can get him to fall back in love with you. Or it may be that you are the one who seems to have fallen out of love, and your lover is left wondering what he has done to make you fall out of love with him.
This apparent falling out of love between two people occurs when people become more realistic about the relationship and see that it is not perfect like they thought in the beginning, and this causes them to be disappointed. This can happen after months or years of being together. When this happens, problems like infidelity may occur in the relationship and put it at risk for ending.
If you do not want your relationship to end like this, you need to figure out how to get your lover to fall back in love with you. You may want to talk to people who have gone through something similar because they may have good advice to share with you. They can tell you what worked and did not work for them. The advice may include things like communicate better, go on vacation together, and reminisce about old times.
Communication is Essential for a Successful Relationship
Communication is the key to any relationship, and if you notice that your lover seems to be losing interest in you, you can rekindle the love simply by communicating with him. You need not rehash all the problems you have had in your relationship or other subjects that are going to lead to an argument. Make small talk about what happened during your day. Ask him about his day. Engage him in small talk. Ask a lot of questions and listen to his answers. The more you show your lover that you are interested in what he has to say, the more he will be willing to share his thoughts with you.
Going on vacation together can get your lover back in love. A short vacation or a weekend getaway to a romantic spot with just the two of you may be just what's needed to rekindle the love in your relationship. Consider going to a spot you used to go in happier times or somewhere neither of you have been. It can be a weekend trip or a two-week trip. A trip together allows you to spend time together and find the spark you once had.
Reminisce the Good Times
Reminiscing about old times together can bring back a lot of good memories. Consider revisiting the place where you had your first date or other places that hold special memories to both of you. Doing so can help you and your lover find those feelings for each other again. Did you have a theme song? Why not play that while you two have a quiet evening together? Listen to the music you listened to when you were falling in love and watch the movies you used to enjoy watching together. Do these things without letting your lover know what you are planning so it seems like a coincidence.
You want the things you do to get your lover back in love seem like they just happened, not like you planned them. If you make it too obvious, your lover is going to feel pressured and it may make things worse.

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Did you find those tips useful? For more free advice and a review of the Magic of Making Up eBook, one of the best books for saving relationships, visit
Photo credit: subscription

Kiss Me Baby -- Ewww..Stop Ummm Your Breath Stinks

Do you smoke, do you drink, do you yell out Hank?

Oh, Wait!  Those are lyrics from a Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw song :)

Okay, so do you smoke?  Do you drink coffee or soda?  Do you eat (especially things like garlic or onions)?  Do you talk a lot?  Do you simply just feel like you have icky breath at times?

Well, your sweetie isn't going to be as willing to snuggle up with you and give you a big fat kiss if your breath stinks.  Seriously - that can be a huge turn off!

For that matter if she knows your breath stinks, she probably won't want you kissing on other parts of her body either!  

Brushing, flossing and using mouthwash 2-3x a day is very important, but there are other times when brushing or rinsing isn't a viable option.  What can you do?

A lot of breath mints are sugarific ... and they don't always work either.  We recently discovered a different kind of breath treatment!  Yay!  Sugar free and it works - for HOURS!  

Check it out - we think you just may like it! 
And, then go KISS your sweetie!

This post was sponsored by 32.
Photo credits: subscription +

Have You Had Your Woody For The Day?

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” 
― Woody Allen

Click the Above image to get Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex*Movie. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Our New Android App For Heart Shaped Box

We have just started putting our challenges out as Android Apps.  Now more people can find the power in Sexy Challenges.  

We love when an app can help build a more meaningful and powerful relationship!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Resolutions - Can They Really Work? Find Out How!

Year after year, we set resolutions or at least we think, "Hey! It's a new year!  I am going to do things differently than before."  But, typically those resolutions or commitments only last a few weeks - then most everybody reverts back to their old ways.  Do you know what is in your way?

Probably not - not the deep stuff.  If you knew what was stopping you, you would find it much easier to make the change…to grow and expand…the way you so deeply desire.  

We came across this free downloadable ebook.  It shares 12 easy steps to ensure New Year's Resolution success with less effort - whatever your goal.  

Check it out!  And make this year different!  

You will learn:
*How to decide upon and prioritize your goals
*How to turbo charge your motivation
*Why the normal resolution setting process will never work
*How to make consistent daily progress
*And, more….

It is FREE after all - so why not take the next step and find out what is in your way?  In fact, you can do this with your sweetie and find out what is getting in the way of reaching not only your individual goals, but your goals as a couple!

Photo credit: © iQoncept - & This Is Your Year
This post was sponsored by This Is Your Year

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Some Believe That Facebook Can Cause Big Relationship Problems

Five Ways To Undo "Social" Havoc On Your Relationship

This post was sponsored by
Social media has overtaken porn as the number one activity on the web. More than 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys cite social media in divorce proceedings, and one in five divorces is blamed on Facebook, according to the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. It's obvious that social media is having an adverse affect on our relationships. However, social media isn't evil in and of itself. It's our over and misuse of it that's wreaking the havoc, and taking our attention away from those we love. You might be wondering, why social media is having such negative effects on our relationships, when it's supposedly designed to keep us connected? Well, the short answer is; the time, energy, attention and enthusiasm that used to be directed toward your significant other is now being poured into trying to keep up with all the different social media networks, news and online happenings. This is interfering with the real, undistracted face-to-face time needed with our true friends and loved ones. Traditionally our relationships are built on the four aforementioned elements; time, energy, attention and enthusiasm. Sharing quality time and open communication is how you get to know someone.
Social media connects, but online relationships are unauthentic. It's very difficult to really get to know someone without actually spending in-person time with them. Once you have spent the time correctly building a relationship however, you have to continue the same healthy behavior in order to maintain it. Neglecting the one you love because you can't stop checking in on social networks is not going to help keep your relationship strong.
Like anything else that has the potential to become addictive, social media can and is increasingly becoming a chronically addictive behavior, comparable to alcoholism and drug addiction. Too much of anything is a bad thing and will cause other areas of your life to suffer as a result of the imbalance. So, if you've experienced or are experiencing problems in your relationship due to poor social media habits on your part or the part of your loved one, and would like to undo the negative effects it's causing, this article is for you. It's not too late to begin to take some steps of correction, for the sake of staying together and saving and strengthening your love and relationship. Here are five ways to begin to undo the havoc social media is causing on your relationship.
Unplug As Often as Possible
Increasingly, we've become easily distracted and lack the ability to concentrate. This is due to all of the many distractions caused by being connected all the time to social media, the internet and our smart devices. Are you showing your relationship the attention it needs? If not, schedule time daily if possible or once or twice weekly, where you spend time with your significant other with no electronic distractions. This means going "old-school" back to the time when there were no laptops, cell phones or I-anything. Plan a picnic, go for a walk, sit in the park, garden together, go running or cycling. Do you get the idea? Plan a real world, fun activity that will get your blood pumping, rekindle some romance, make you sweat and most importantly get you two connected. Leave the phones on silent or better yet, turn them off completely and re-learn how to enjoy each other's company. Turning off electronic devices helps you relax more and be present in the moment without anxiety or constant interruptions.
Have at Least One Meal Together Uninterrupted
This might seem like a weird one to make the list, but many couples are so busy they don't even take the time to eat together anymore. Social media is causing us to lose focus on what's really important in our lives, each other. What happens when you set the table for two, light a candle and share a meal? You are forced to slow down, talk, relax and focus on each other for a change. You feel as if you matter and your presence is valued when you have someone's undivided attention. Your partner needs to know they are valued and important in their life, so scheduling in dinner together, breakfast, or lunch will do wonders to improve adverse relationship situations. Whatever is happening in the social world shouldn't ever be more important than what's happening with you and your mate at home during your quality time together.
Communicate More Offline
The constant use of social media is lessening our communications skills, and making us fearful of speaking to others. As a result we are beginning to talk less. It's very difficult to maintain a loving relationship if there is no communication, no words of affirmation and no sharing of thoughts and ideas. The best communication takes place face-to-face when the two of you are together, not via a tweet or status update. Don't wait until you leave each other and then send the text that says, "I love you" or "I miss you". Seize the moment and create the memory by sharing your feelings with one another in each other's presence. Are you using electronics and social media to communicate your thoughts and feelings to your significant other? Do you all live together? Okay, just one more question. Why? Oh, and stop it immediately! Replace the DM with a real verbal heartfelt message.
Intermix Social Media with Real Life
More frequently poor choices are being made to interact via social media over spending face-to-face time with your mate. It doesn't mean you shouldn't use social media to communicate with your special someone, it just means that it doesn't need to be the only way you interact. Use your social media networks to strength real life relationships and bonds further. Make plans to get together, plan a wonderful surprise evening for your lover or use it to talk dirty and get each other in the mood. Social media if used better could heighten the intensity of real world relationships instead of breaking them down, but this depends on our developing better etiquette. Mixing your use of social media into your real life relationship could definitely benefit the time spent together if done right.
Get Help
Your use of social media might be well beyond your ability to control. In this case, it might be beneficial for you to seek professional help. Social media addiction is real and the effects of any addiction tend to be negative for the abuser as well as those closely associated to them. Just like alcohol and drugs can ruin a marriage, family, career, etc, so can any behavior that is compulsive and becomes uncontrollable. Addictions are usually created to fill a need or calm an anxiety of some kind. Unbalanced relationships, lack of support, lack of love shown are all reasons you might use your social media community as a constant outlet to fill the voids. However, this behavior will only further contribute to your relationship failure.
C. Nzingha Smith writes articles on; love, relationships, lifestyle topics, and pop culture. Her book titles include: Lust Have Recipes, Aphrodisiac Cookbook (Featured on CNN, Huffington Post, AOL Black Voices, iVillage), InstaLove: 7 Successful Love Principles Taken from Social Media (Winter 2013), UnRaveled, A Memoir (August 2014). C. Nzingha is also a Certified Copy Editor and Principal at SNC2 INK, The Clean Copy Agency. Visit her online home
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