Saturday, June 29, 2013

5 Minutes a Day to Change Your Life!

You can change your experience simply by giving yourself five minutes a day. 

Sit up tall.  
Close your eyes.
Place a half smile on your face (no matter how you feel).
Focus on your breathing.
Consciously relax the muscles in your face.
Relax the muscles in your neck and shoulders.
Relax your stomach.
Relax your arms and hands.
Melt into your legs.
Melt into the floor.

Take a final deep breath and release it slowly.
Slowly open your eyes and come back to yourself.

Taking care of YOU ultimately takes care of your relationship and family too!

Photo credit: © khubicek -

Friday, June 28, 2013

Baby, Look Me in the Eyes (Ways We Communicate 3 of 8)

Part 3 of 8 

 Eye Contact – Do you have good eye contact with
your partner?  I briefly mentioned that
under body language, but it can be such a big way to communicate that I wanted
to pull it out separately too.  How about
if we are at a function and we are more than ready to leave?  We catch our partner’s eye and silently send
him/her the message with just our look. 
Other times simply making eye contact is enough when we encounter
something hilarious, but it is an inappropriate time to laugh or we are shocked
about something, but can’t say so out loud. 
This silent communication between two people is exceptionally powerful.

Janelle Alex, Ph.D. Copyright 2011

Photo credit © photoCD -

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Wanna New Tattoo?

Do you have a tattoo?  Ever wanted one or another one?

Well, bring that into your lovemaking and you might just discover an amazing and unique experience.

Tattoos have had a lot of purposes. Today they are often gotten as a fashion statement, but they usually carry a lot of meaning for the wearer. Have you ever considered a tattoo, but didn’t want to commit to a permanent inking? Well, check out this new Sexy Challenge. It offers you a chance to do just that in a special way with your lover.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Eating For Better Sex

Don't feel well? Take a pill. A few pounds to lose? Take a pill. No energy? Take a pill. Depressed? Take a pill. Today's society is a pill society. Many studies have been done to show that if people are given a placebo (sugar pill) and told that it will increase their sexual performance; the majority will say that they noticed an increase in their sexual performance. It has proven that enhancing the libido, at least the most important part of it, comes from the mind. So now we wonder, how does food affect a person's sexual and emotional health?
Soy can be used to suppress hot flashes that occur hot flashes, promote a healthy prostate, and help in vaginal lubrication. It adheres to estrogen receptors which maintain the lubrication that a vagina needs. This is a problem that also occurs during menopause. Chili peppers can improve your circulation and stimulate nerve endings. Ginger can do the same thing. Because this improves, so will your sexual pleasure.
Since good blood flow is important for a good erection food that is good for your heart will also be good for your penis. If your heart is not operating properly there is a very good chance that your penis will not be responding as well as you would like it to either. Since saturated fat will clog the arteries, which in turn will restrict the blood flow, it stands to reason that it also restricts the blood flow that reaches your genital region as well. Yes, your body does require fat to create hormones, but it needs the right kind of fats. Good fat comes from olive oils, sea food, and nuts. These good fats will help in the production of hormones that are essential for sexual peak performance.
Foods that are said to have aphrodisiac qualities are asparagus, bananas, eel, oysters, figs, and ginseng. Rhino horn is said to increase the sexual appetite. The taste, texture, or perhaps appearance of these foods are thought to increase the sex drive. There are some that believe if you eat foods that appear penis like it will make your penis strong and like the food that you ingest. The same applies to the oyster or the fig, which either smell or look like the woman's vulva when aroused. When a person eats these foods they are in the hopes that the vulva will then become plump, slippery, and tasty as well.
Sweet or spicy foods are thought to put people in a relaxed mood and to appear ready to take on more pleasure.
Now the question remains, do these food myths work? No, not the way that they are said to work. Foods cannot change the way that your sexual organs look. Food can be a great way to spice up your sex life though, so why not?
Drinking alcohol will relax you emotionally and physically make you look flushed. For a short amount of time it will make you look flushed. Caffeine and sugar offer a quick boost of energy. These are short term effects but in reality what you should do is eat a healthy diet of fish and fresh vegetables to be at your best physically and sexually at all times.
You can make food part of your sexual experience by cooking a meal with your lover and feeding it to each other. Have a picnic in the middle of the floor, place the foods all around you and let your imagination take over. 'The Karma Sutra' suggests boiling a ram's or goat's testicle in sweetened milk with sparrow's eggs and rice and honey for an aphrodisiac.

Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Florida. Find more about this as well as female sexual enhancement at

Monday, June 24, 2013

5 Stages of Developing Sacred Sexuality

5 Stages of Developing Sacred Sexuality

In this fast paced world full of flashy movie images, internet, cell phones, text messaging and other technologies, we are in dire need of redefining our intimate relationships. Often times we treat our intimate relationships like a fast food chain. Bent on having the most pleasure and the most passion in the shortest amount of time without realizing that we have left out the heart altogether. And then we wonder why we burn through relationships so quickly! True connection happens when we are able to sustain contact with one another for many moments at a time instead of instinctively reaching for our phone to text or receive a text from someone else.
If we want to move into a sustainable loving mature relationship there are stages of interaction that allow for authentic connection and relationship building. Anything valuable is worth taking time to explore. Perhaps a question to ask oneself is, Do I really want to be in a partnership right now? Even if the answer is No, knowing the stages of building sacred sexuality in intimacy is a valid way toward understanding how best to move forward when that time arrives.
The way sacred is defined for the purposes of this article relates to a spiritual, protective, comfortable and compassionate space from which to experience sex and intimacy. Focusing on the sacred as a place within us and within our relationship that opens us toward experiencing true connection. In any authentic relationship, the process takes precedent over the outcome. By staying connected with one another, we value the process of being together more than an orgasm! And yet when an honorable connection is established through the following stages, orgasms reach heights beyond comprehension! Oooh la la!
Stages of Sacred Sexual Intimacy
1. Developing Friendship (No Sex Yet!)
2. Honest Communication = Listening
3. Intimate Touching and Massage
4. Sacred Love Making Date
5. Sacred Sexuality realized through practice!
1. Developing Friendship (No Sex Yet!)
Let's begin by looking at the importance of developing a friendship with a love interest prior to having sexual intimacy. By slowly getting to know one another, in having fun adventures together two people learn the value of friendship. Taking time to learn about one another's passions, interests, and even fears. This is called dating! Really taking time to go on picnics, go to the movies, rock climbing, be silly together or whatever meets your fancy. For some people this process may take several weeks while for others it may take several months. If the dating process only takes several days, there may need to be a reevaluation about priorities. Is a partnership really desired? We can then be very honest with ourselves. Perhaps we do want a partnership, but then find after a few dates that we know more of what we want and what we want is not being met in this person! That is okay! We can only truly value someone when we value ourselves. When we value ourselves, we recognize that friendship and love relationships take time, energy and money. Where is the sex? It's coming! Do you sense the importance of building up to the climax? Let's stay with the process.
2. Honest Communication = Listening
One of the most important components of a mature and healthy relationship is honest communication between two people. What is that? Honest communication actually includes one thing. Listening. Being quiet while the other person speaks her/his truth. Listening without interrupting! Being completely present with the other which means not talking on the phone, not checking email, not sending text messages, not talking to the kids etc. This type of listening is very important and most important in the beginning. Otherwise what is the point of being with someone who doesn't listen? A person might as well befriend a wall, a dog, or a cat. Which does happen! Authentic listening is one of the highest forms of intimacy we can experience. Listening with the whole body, mind and spirit. For some people, this level of intimacy is beyond sex! Woah nelly! There is great value in being truly present with someone by fully listening. The value comes from the heart being open to accepting the other person completely. Wow! Now we are getting somewhere!
3. Intimate Touching and Massage
After developing a friendship in this way of listening and adventures, the loving intimacy of touch is ever so valued. Making massage and touch dates with one another is a lot of fun and amps up the attraction and desire 1000 fold! Still no sex! Seriously! The continuing build up occurs from a place of honoring one another through loving touch without having to act on the very primal urge of Wham Bam Thank You Maam! Both people respect one another more for holding out on that urge, and take time to really get to know one another's bodies. It's about the process. This practice is directly related to courtly love and Romantic Noble activity. Yes, even back in King Arthur's time, the men who courted the noble women relished in solely caressing their nude voluptuous bodies! Oooh, intriguing! Onward and upward!
If there is uncertainty on how to go about massaging, then exploration is a great way to learn! Make an appointment to receive a massage or check out a few books. Truly, massage is also about listening. Sitting quietly with the chosen lover and touching from the heart, not solely from the sexual desire! Why? When the energy becomes focused solely on the sex centers, often times the presence of heart goes out the door with the dog, so to speak! By maintaining eye contact through soft gazing at one another from the heart while simultaneously touching in a sexually intimate way, the sexual connections becomes sacred. Each person is more consciously aware of the love between them. Touching from the heart with gentleness and thoughtfulness allows for honoring of one another to continue. Otherwise, the sex takes over and potentially controls the future relating with one another instead of relating from the heart, the place of true love. Touching from the heart opens up trust in one another and furthers the desire while increasing the intensity of the orgasms! Yes, even for the man! It's an orgasm of a more potent, longer lasting and energetic vibratory experience!
4. Sacred Love Making Date
Now is the time we all have been waiting for, the sex! Remember to continue to develop the friendship all the while the physical exploration continues. By this time, both people may realize that sex is not as important as they originally thought it would be and yet they are crazy for one another! In order to maintain a sense of honoring, a date of sacred love making is the best method to continue forth. Setting up candles, delightful soft music, soothing aromas, sweet foods, soft blankets, silky sheets and elegant night clothing. Begin the date by bathing one another. This can take place in a bath or shower. The main idea is to bring the attention to the loving gentle arousing touch while also shampooing and soaping one another! No sex in the shower! Then moving to the bed continue touching, caressing each other sensually, and listening to one another in body, mind and spirit. Oooh la la!
Time to address the practical thoughts wandering in this vein. It's important to remember that this sacred love making session is the first one with follow up dates spread throughout the year. The main thing to remember is to honor one another. We all know that once the sex begins it takes on many forms! If that means getting together in the woods during a lunch break, so be it! Just as long as you both know what sacred love making feels like, tastes like, looks like, sounds like, and smells like in order to come back to that way of being with one another. Now the stages are almost complete!
5. Sacred Sexuality realized through practice!
One important aspect worth noting is recognizing that we are all doing the very best we can with what we have been given in this life. That means that happily ever after actually involves a lot of listening, honesty, and honoring of each other. Happily ever after involves discussions of a challenging and sometimes heightened manner as each person grows into a deeper understanding of what it means to love her/his own self while also loving another. The intimate sexual relationship flourishes through the practice of listening, honoring, touching and valuing one another in friendship and sacred sexual relating. Practice brings sustaining love and joy! Voila! Honest intimate friendship creates sacred sexuality! Enjoy!
Photo credit: © chandra -

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Should You Make Love During Her Cycle?

The question about having sex during a woman's menstrual cycle was recently brought up again.  This particular time it was brought up because a young woman will be getting married and going on her honeymoon during this time.  In this podcast episode, we discuss this particular concern.

Listen now!     
                   Podcast Powered By Podbean

Honoring you and yours,
Janelle & Rob - Co-Founders of Sexy Challenges

Get busy.  Get spiritual.  Laugh your ass off!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Friday, June 21, 2013

Talk w/Your Body (Ways We Communicate 2 of 8)

Touch, lean into, and smile....

Part 2 of 8

           Body Language – Paying attention to our partners’
body language can tell us if he/she is interested in what we have to say, if
he/she is bored, if he/she is angry and so on.

Some obvious signs include when our partner folds his/her arms, turns
away from us, does the eye roll, draws a long breath, etc.
  More positive body language may include leaning
into us, making eye contact, nodding the head.

When we pay attention to our partners’ body language and even our own
when listening to our partner we can discover a lot more about our level of

Janelle Alex, Ph.D. Copyright 2011

Photo credit: © microimages -

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

When Is The Last Time The French Invaded Your Kiss?

Here is the question, when is the last time you and your partner french kissed?  Can you remember, do you only do it during intimacy.  Why?  Can you remember the first time you french kissed each other the thrill of venturing into this delight?  Well today I recommend at some point and time you french kiss each other.  Pick your time wisely.  Don't do it at the grocery store or for heavens sake not in front of the kids.  The french kiss is more private then a normal kiss on the lips, treat it as foreplay or a snack for later activities.  Sneak to the kitchen and passionately kiss each other or maybe as a welcome home.  Just make time today to at least one french kiss!

Click here to check out Sexy Challenges

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Stop! Think of About Your Lover Right Now

Take a moment right now to stop and think of something wonderful about your lover.  It can be something physical or maybe it is something he/she has done for you lately or maybe something he/she has done for someone else.

Now, that you have thought of this - make sure you let your sweetheart know how much this means to you!

Rob & Janelle Alex, Co-Founders of Sexy Challenges
Photo credit © Mograph -

Monday, June 17, 2013

Tied Up and Still Trying to Be Cool?

Did this video make you giggle?  Or, did you think it is the stupidest thing you have seen in a while?  

There will be a variety of opinions.  Share yours below!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sexual Energy is the Life Force

We talked about how sexual energy is the life force.  Yes, making love can create babies, but there is so much more to it than that.  That is far from the only life and creativity that can occur by making love. Listen in as we talk about the big bang, the valley orgasm, and changing the world by making love to your sweetheart.

Honoring you, Rob and Janelle of Sexy Challenges
Get busy. Get spiritual. Laugh your ass off!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Visions After Orgasm - More Than Premonition

We have been interviewed many, many times and often we are asked if the visions that we both receive are precognitive (seeing into the future).  For a long time, we said that yes, they seemed to be, but more recently we have begun to notice that we now get visions and information that isn't always about the "future", but about recent events be it experiences of friends, family or those we have taught amazing concepts via Sexy Challenges to.

The power of sexual energy and orgasmic energy and the spiritual connection (and doors) it can open for you is simply profound.  As I, Janelle, often say, it is beyond the capacity of human language to explain.

Can you have this in your life?  Yes, we believe you can.  That is why we are teaching it and sharing this message with the world!

Honoring you,
Janelle & Rob - Co-Founders of Sexy Challenges

Get busy. Get spiritual. Laugh your ass off!

Photo credit: © rolffimages -

Friday, June 14, 2013

Baby, Talk to Me (Part 1 of 8 - Ways We Communicate)

(Above = Ummm....probably not the best way to communicate!)

Part 1 of 8

There are numerous ways we can communicate with our partners.  You may not have considered
some of the ones we will share over the next few weeks.  We do not all communicate the same; therefore we should not expect our partner to communicate in a specific way.  We need to learn how
he/she communicates best and work with that.  At the same time, it is important for both partners to make an effort to meet in the middle.  Communication and adjusting our way of communicating should not be one-sided.  It takes both of us wanting to communicate to truly re-open and/or keep those lines open. 

Below I am going to touch briefly on eight different types of communication.  Consider how many of
these you incorporate into your relationship.  If they aren’t there, could you pay more attention to them and increase them?  Changing just one aspect of your relationship ultimately changes the entire relationship.  This means that one by one you can transform your relationship.  All communication can
build trust and a deeper bond in your relationship, but I believe that a good combination of the different types is very important for both of you and for your relationship as a whole.

 Talking – Talking is the most obvious way we communicate with each other and perhaps, may be the only way some consider when discussing communication.  Yet, there are far more ways that we communicate with each other than just talking.  Talking is not easy for everyone to do and we need to take that into account when considering how best to communicate with our partners.  Does your partner
interrupt you when you are talking?  Do you change the subject and cut-off your partner?  Do you feel that your partner really listens when you talk?  Another factor to take into consideration is that the meaning of words can vary even for two people who are very close.  

Janelle Alex, Ph.D. Copyright 2011

Photo credit  - © pressmaster -

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Lust Is a Must In Your Relationship

Lust is a must in a relationship.
          When you first started your relationship you didn't worry about how you felt about your partner.  Part of that feeling was lust in the beginning.  You both the loved the raw passion and the no holds barred method of what happened when you saw each other.

Now, however, as your relationship has become a more stable and supportive function in your life you sometimes forget that unbridled passion that you enjoyed at the beginning of the relationship.

When is the last time you took off your partner's clothes?
When is the last time the two of you almost fell down because you couldn't stop kissing?
When is the last time that you came through the door and drug each other to the bedroom?
Why in the hell are you not doing that now?

I would make your relationship a more passionate place.  You can bring that lust back into your relationship without hurting your relationship.  You know each other so much better now, but does that mean you can't rip each others clothes off?

I think it means you have more of a reason to rip those clothes off.

Tonight show your partner that you still lust after him/her even though you love 'em!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Would You Like This Wedding Cake Top?

I ran across this picture and felt that many would be offended by the image.  I however feel that it is appropriate for many wedding cakes.  Most couples are excited to get the wedding done and get to the honeymoon.  This cake topper expresses that clearly.  It is my feeling that this beautifully shows the passion a marriage or relationship should have within it.  

Friday, June 7, 2013

Sexy Challenge Heartbeats Hits The Top 200 on iTunes

Join us in celebrating our podcast hitting the top 200 on the iTunes charts in the category of Sexuality.  We are so honored that so many of you out there have listened in.  If you have not listened to this point what the hell are you waiting for the link is below.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Sexy Paintings at Home

Having sexual paintings in your home might not be a bad thing.  

Like this Monet painting above - it leads you to a very sensual feeling.  

What an atmosphere these paintings can create!