There is often a bit of a joke about women wanting a back
rub or a foot rub before or after sex. Giving
someone a back rub can most certainly lead to sexual intimacy whether or not
you are already in a relationship.
Hmmm…if giving your beloved a back rub can lead to more exciting
adventures, then how about going a step further and giving him/her a full body
sensual massage? Unsure of just how to
go about that? Keep reading…
1.
Prepare
o
Make sure your hands are clean and your nails
trimmed and smooth. (You may choose to go a step further and share a shower or
bath together first. You can even wash
each other)
o
Both of you should remove your jewelry.
o
Place two sheets or blankets on the bed, the
floor or a massage table if you happen to have one. If the room is cool, be sure to use a blanket
or flannel sheets. Your lover will lie
between these two sheets/blankets.
o
Do your best to adjust the temperature of the
room to around 70°.
o
Have a pillow (a roll
pillow if possible) to place under the backs of his/her knees when on the back
and under the fronts of the ankles when on the stomach.
o
You might want to
gather some rose petals (or other flower petals) to rub across your lover’s
skin as you massage him/her.
o
Set the lighting low,
use soft music, and add a gentle scent such as lavender or use lightly scented
oil.
o
Be certain your goal is to honor your
sweetheart. Focus on giving to
him/her. The ultimate goal isn’t really
about sex, but instead communicating to your partner how you feel about him/her
through touch. If this leads to
lovemaking, then go for it – just don’t offer a sensual massage with that as
your sole purpose.
2.
Get naked – Since this is a private and loving
sensual massage both of you should become fully naked. This is another good reason to adjust the
room temperature. You may choose to
blindfold your partner. When one of the
senses is taken out of the equation the other senses are heightened. This can enhance the massage. Yet, you may also choose to use body parts
other than your hands to massage your lover.
If you do that, it can be quite visually stimulating to allow your lover
to watch you oil the part of your body you are going to use on him/her.
3.
Start with the back – The normal order of giving
a massage starts with your partner lying face down and you begin rubbing the
back. Only uncover that area so as to
keep your lover warm. If you are
massaging the back, then fold the top sheet to his/her waist. Typically, you will move from the back to the
legs and then the feet. Oh, don’t forget
the buttocks. But, remember not to get
carried away. This isn’t about copping a
feel. Remember to respect your lover and
give him/her the pleasure he/she desires.
Have your partner turn over and then work more on the legs and
feet. Then move to the arms, hands,
neck, and shoulders. **Throughout the entire massage always maintain contact
with your lover’s body even when moving the sheet and moving to a different
part of his/her body. And, warm the oil
in your hands before placing it upon your sweetie’s vulnerable skin. As you begin your massage be sure to start
out with a light gentle touch. You may
choose to increase pressure as you proceed.
4.
Be present and fully aware – It is very
important to pay attention to your sweetie.
Watch his/her body to see how it responds to your touch. Are those goose bumps from being cold or from
the way you are touching that beautiful body?
Listen to his/her responses. Are
those moans of relaxation or as you continue do they become moans of sexual
pleasure? Or, on the other hand is your
partner trying to let you know he/she is uncomfortable? This experience is far more enjoyable for you
both if you stay in the moment – stay present.
If what you have to do at work pops into your head, recognize it,
appreciate it, then take a deep breath and let it go as you exhale. Refocus on the body beneath your hands.
5.
Use your body – Using your forearm, your feet,
your lips, your tongue, your face, your chest, your buttocks, or your genitalia
can add a whole new level to the massage.
As mentioned above, allowing your lover to watch you oil some of these
areas on your body prior to rubbing them all over him/her can be very erotic. Don’t leave out the other tools your body
possesses.
6.
Overlooked places - You can give him/her a scalp
massage. This is beautiful tension
reliever. Gently rubbing and lightly
scratching stimulates the scalp and increases the energy flow. This truly can bring your partner to a state
of blissful relaxation. Your lover may,
also, enjoy you rubbing your thumbs gently inside the ear. For many people, the inside as well as the
outside of the ear offers very erotic sensations. If your partner is open to a chest massage,
gently move yours hands in circling motions over the breasts. Move your hands in opposite directions moving
away from each other. After seven or
eight circles reverse directions. Also,
don’t forget the inside of the upper arm, the inner wrist, the backs of the
knees, and the palms. Oh wait, there is
more. How about his/her face, the collarbone
(can be quite sensitive as the skin is so thin there), and around the
anklebones – inside and outside of ankle.
If your lover is comfortable with it, you can massage the gluteal cleft
(the butt crack). Start at the top with
small clockwise circles. Then begin to
stroke up and down the cleft. Also,
consider massaging around the outside of the anus without penetration.
7.
Moving to erotic massage – The gluteal cleft
leads us to taking this sensual massage to the next level. Massaging your partner’s genitals may seem
obvious, but again do this with your focus being on honoring his/her body and
communicating through touch how you feel about it. Massaging the g-spot or the prostate can be a
climatic end to the massage your offer your lover.
These quick tips can get your started on your adventurous
journey of sharing a sensual massage with your lover. We hope you take them to heart and enjoy
them.
Copyright 2012
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D., Soul Collaboration Guide and Sacred & Sensual Teacher
Rob Alex, M.Sc., Sacred & Sensual Teacher
Originally posted on
Get Lusty for Couples :)
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