Dirty Little Secrets That Will Keep The Spark Alive
Everybody knows that after the “honeymoon” phase is over that the mundane sets in. It may take you a few months or a few years, but eventually everyday life takes hold and for almost every couple the excitement they experienced in the beginning fades to a dull ho-hum rut.
Yet, there are a few dirty little secrets that can keep the spark alive. Why are these secrets dirty? Well, they have been used over and over by millions of couples to get through the tough times, to languish together in the easier times, to keep their relationship charged in the mediocre times. Yep…after all that use these secrets have a little dirt on them. So, let’s dig in.
1. Communicate! Oh Boy! That one seems obvious doesn’t it, but it is true! If you don’t talk, text, or physically communicate what you want, don’t want, like and don’t like, you are going to experience more arguments and, on top of that, you will grow apart. Oh crap!!
2. Be courageous. Being in a long-term relationship is one of the scariest and hardest things you could ever do. You have to be brave enough to face the deepest parts of yourself and of your lover. Because the longer you are together – the more likely those parts will show up. Mind you, this is also a wonderful opportunity to grow within a safe and trusting space.
3. Have consistency. Be honest – always. Be yourself. We all have different moods, but do your best to be who you truly are with your partner always. Having no idea what to expect from your sweetheart from day-to-day will cause a lot of stress and perhaps, eventually, a break in your relationship.
4. Make lots of love! The spark doesn’t have to fade in this area either if you are willing to find new things for the two of you to try. Ah, a great reason to have Sexy Challenges in your life! And, the more often you make love the more often the body continues to want to. It is like a muscle after all…use it or lose it!
5. Continue growing (separately and together). Learning new things as a couple is definitely a key to keep spice in your love life. This will help keep boredom at bay. But, don’t forget to learn new things individually as well. Then you can come home and share about your new experiences, adventures, knowledge with your sweetheart.
6. Be clear about what you want. You need to know what you want in your life and out of your relationship. If you don’t really have a clue, then how can you expect to find happiness and maintain it? For that matter, if your partner doesn’t know what you want, how can he/she be expected to share in things that bring your happiness?
7. Learn from others…rinse and repeat! Learn from experts about different things. How did they stay together? What have they learned in their studies? What do they know? What does ancient history show? How are people managing in today’s society? But, remember to always take that information, rinse it off…getting rid of the stuff that doesn’t fit the two of you, then, and only then, repeat the parts that make sense to you.
8. Be committed. Make a promise not only to yourself, but to your beloved to do everything you can to make your relationship work and to keep it fresh and filled with sparks.
Janelle Alex, Ph.D. – Co-Founder of Sexy Challenges
Copyright 2013
Photo credit: © apops - Fotolia.com
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