Many have made it a taboo - don't talk about it, don't read about it, and don't do it! Really?
Hundreds of thousands, more than likely millions, of people have grown up being taught that sex is a sin. It is considered dirty and should only be done to produce new life, and even then it should be done quickly and with extreme secrecy. In some ancient societies, if a woman was raped within a town or village not only was her attacker stoned to death, but so was she! One can only imagine that sex was considered so evil that the victim in such a situation had become violently tainted and should not be allowed to live for fear that she would taint others who she might come into contact with. This is, perhaps, an extreme view of sex as sinful, but when the idea that the body and sensuality is dirty and despicable becomes so deeply ingrained in a society's perception these extremist views can arise.
Shortly after babies are born it is natural for them to touch their genitals. Unless they are taught that such touching is disgusting and wrong, they will likely continue to touch their bodies as they grow. I recall visiting with a friend of mine many years ago. At the time her youngest son was six-years-old. He was sitting on the couch and commented, "Mommy, my pee-pee hurts. It is hard. If I rub it, it feels better." Her initial reaction was surprise, but she didn't tell him it was wrong. Now, it is true that children must learn when/where it is appropriate to touch themselves, but teaching them that any part of their bodies are disgusting or dirty or that touching certain parts is disgusting or dirt is a very sad thing to do. Teaching children to hate or fear parts of their bodies or their physical sensations is the real sin. Yet, well-meaning parents or caregivers, who were probably taught the very same things, pass on these beliefs everyday.
Shortly after babies are born it is natural for them to touch their genitals. Unless they are taught that such touching is disgusting and wrong, they will likely continue to touch their bodies as they grow. I recall visiting with a friend of mine many years ago. At the time her youngest son was six-years-old. He was sitting on the couch and commented, "Mommy, my pee-pee hurts. It is hard. If I rub it, it feels better." Her initial reaction was surprise, but she didn't tell him it was wrong. Now, it is true that children must learn when/where it is appropriate to touch themselves, but teaching them that any part of their bodies are disgusting or dirty or that touching certain parts is disgusting or dirt is a very sad thing to do. Teaching children to hate or fear parts of their bodies or their physical sensations is the real sin. Yet, well-meaning parents or caregivers, who were probably taught the very same things, pass on these beliefs everyday.
The body is of nature. And, I ask you how is anything created in nature? The answer is sex - in one form or another. Animals must copulate to reproduce. Bees carry pollen from one to flower to another. Trees produce seeds in hopes they will become buried in the ground in an effort to grow new trees. Do people typically believe that animals reproducing, bees carrying pollen, or trees dropping seeds are sinful acts? No. Then why has human sexuality become so taboo over the centuries?
Thousands of years ago sexuality and women were revered. Yet, somewhere along the way that all changed. It is true that sex can be used in terribly inappropriate ways from rape and molestation to degrading pornography. But, sex is truly the most beautiful thing two people can share.
When two people are in a loving relationship they can journey along a path to join their hearts, their energies, and their spirits through sacred lovemaking and intimacy. Due to the fact that there are so many taboos and so many people have been raised with negative beliefs around sex, there are vast numbers of problems within couples' relationships that stem from their sex lives. When a couple can move past the taboos, learn that their lovemaking is their business and no one else's, and create a safe space for each other, their sexual experiences can transcend this world and earthly pleasure.
Not only is sex not sinful within a loving relationship it is a bridge to one's spiritual connection. This is not about being religious. It is about connecting to one's spiritual self as everyone is truly a spiritual being having a human experience. Cherishing one's sexual relationship with his/her partner is one key to opening to divine connection. Honoring each other through sacred sex and honoring the relationship offers an opportunity for vast amounts of love and joy to flow into a couple's life.
Dr. Janelle Alex, Copyright 2011
This article was shared a few months ago at
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