15 Minutes to Amazing Tantric Sex

Taking your sex life to a higher level and deeper level simultaneously through Tantric practices begins outside of the sexual act. It really is about fully blending the masculine and feminine within you – your Shiva and Shakti as well as blending your soul with your lover’s. When you can come together and no longer are consciously aware of where you end and your lover begins you can experience Mahamudra or a total blending with the Universe as a whole. Yes, you will still be able to tell your physical bodies apart from one another, but the sensation of melding your soul with your lover’s soul and even on a Universal level in which you sense a blending with All is an orgasmic experience that is like no other and it cannot be described in human language. But, how can you move towards the potentiality of such levels of sensuality, sexuality and orgasmic experience?

It doesn’t have to take vast amounts of sexual experience or a deep spiritual practice to open the doors to these new levels. Such things can be beneficial, but are not absolutely necessary. We are about to share with you a few things you can do that will take no more than 15 minutes – unless, of course, you choose to spend more time on them.

Before we share them, it is vitally important for you to understand that as you go into these exercises, activities, or moments that you have no set goal in mind. Be open to accepting whatever experience you have as the one you are meant to have. It does not need to be like someone else’s. It is your experience. Just as no two of us are identical no two of our experiences should be expected to be identical either. Furthermore, the experience you have on one occasion may be quite different from the experience you have doing the very same activity at a different time or on a different day or in a different place. Do not expect sex, orgasm, climax, or spectacular fireworks. Just remain open to what comes through for you. Do not expect anything of your partner either. Place attention on your lover, but with no expectations. Open your heart and your soul and just be and just allow the moment to just be.

Set Time Aside

The first step is to set 15 minutes aside for the two of you to focus on one another, to practice these following exercises/activities, and to willingly let your guard down. (Remember to focus on yourself during this time, too.)

Create a Safe and Sacred Space

This can be as simple as turning the lights down low or lighting some candles or lighting a fire in the fireplace. You may choose to play music softly in the background (music you both enjoy – with or without lyrics, sounds of nature, tribal beats, etc.). Lay a soft blanket on the floor or join one another in the center of your bed. Surround yourself with only things that support the two of you. Take down any pictures or put away any items that bother you in any way. Remove any clutter from the area.

Yab Yum

One partner will sit cross-­‐legged while the other partner will sit facing him/her.
The second partner will wrap his/her legs around the first partner’s waist. This yab yum position will place you face-­‐to-­‐face and chest-­‐to-­‐chest. If this is uncomfortable for you, adjust it so that it works for you. Perhaps, crossing your legs isn’t comfy or sitting on your lover that way doesn’t work for you. Change it. You can also sit in two chairs facing one another – close enough for your knees to touch or even close enough so that you place your feet in between your lover’s. If you can, wrap your arms around each other. Otherwise, hold hands. Place your foreheads together (the third eye kiss) and just breathe. Remain like this for 3-­‐5 minutes. Simply hold this gentle, quiet space for each other. Notice your lover’s breathing. Notice your own. Pay attention to the way he/she feels as you are touching. Then notice how you feel physically and emotionally. When (if) outside things pop into your head – work, kids, the dog – just acknowledge them and then return your focus to the moment.

Honoring Through Your Kiss

You can remain in the yab yum (or your version) position or you can shift positions. Again, this is about each of you and your experience. Spend the next 3-­‐5 minutes kissing your sweetheart. These kisses do not need to be hot and sexy. They can be gentle and sweet. They don’t have to be open-­‐mouthed or even have to be on the lips though know that the heart is literally connected to the tongue physically as well as spiritually. Take turns kissing one another. Allow your kisses to reflect how you feel about him/her, how you want to treat him/her, and how you feel about and want to treat your relationship overall.

Communication Via Eye Gaze and Touch

While you are either in yab yum or simply facing each other look into your partner’s eyes. We often get so busy that we forget to do this, and I am not even talking about forgetting or overlooking the deep long look, but we can easily just barely make eye contact at all. Looking into your lover’s eyes helps connect the two of you. Sometimes, especially if you haven’t done this for a while, gazing directly into his/her eyes for a couple of minutes can feel like a staring contest. If it makes you uncomfortable, just start out with what works for you. Gaze lovingly into your sweetie’s eyes until you feel the need to look elsewhere. Then shift your gaze, roaming your eyes over his/her body. Take notice of all of him/her – ears, cheeks, lips, nose, hair, shoulders, neck, etc. You can also trail your fingers along as you move your gaze along the body. When you are ready look into the eyes again even if your partner is not looking into your eyes. Eventually, your gaze will draw his/hers back to you. Continue to move through this experience together for 3-­‐5 minutes.

See how easy it can be to move into a different space with your lover? If you can dedicate to trying these activities a couple of times a week (or even just once a week to start), you will begin to notice a transformation in your relationship. This doesn’t have to be complicated, and remember to let your expectations go. Let it be what it is for the two of you.

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. Rob Alex, M.Sc. 
Sexychallenges.com 

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How Can I Attract True Love?

We here over and over again how much individuals want to be in a relationship.  Of course, not all singles want a partner, but millions do.  Our focus is on couples, but as we are so often asked "how can I find true love" we are also now helping those individuals attract the rich, deep love with a partner they so desire.  A relationship filled with powerful, playful passion that offers a safe, supportive, and loving space is phenomenal.  And, there are a number of ways to attract that kind of relationship into your life.

Listen in to here a bit more about that and jump over to http://www.sexychallenges.com under programs to discover more about Attract[ing] True Love.

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You can also request a free consultation with us via phone, Skype, email, or in-person (for those in our area).  Just drop an email to sexychallenges@gmail.com to request your consultation. Check out all of the Sexy Challenges on iTunes, Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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Attract True Love

Attract True Love 

~Find the rich love you desire.~

~Discover powerful, playful, passion.~

~Be who YOU are and attract who desires YOU.~

~Feel loved, safe, valued and supported.~

~Find a friend in your lover.~

~Recognize intimate relationship is a spiritual path.~

~Make room for soulful companionship.~

~Fulfill your heart's desires - your dreams - your wishes.~

Do you want a red-hot relationship?  

Are you ready for a new way to find it?

Yes!  What we teach is outside the box, but we work with you and develop a plan that fits where you are right now, what you are comfortable with, and we help you expand your awareness so that you can discover the synchronistic and serendipitous events that will begin showing up.  

"Rob & Janelle you have changed our lives! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!" K & T - Ohio

Do you wonder if this can work for you?

Metaphysical concepts aren't brand new to you?

Have you learned about the Law of Attraction?

Has practicing the Law of Attraction failed you?

As we mentioned just above, we meet you where you are (emotionally, mentally, and spiritually).  We will get to know you and ask questions before putting a personalized plan together for you.  

Through heart-stirring conversation, communication, and exercises we teach you the skills to create a sustainable, loving, sensual and magickal relationship.

"I wanted someone to be with so badly that I was actually chasing them away.  You helped me see that and figure out how to be like a magnet drawing a partner to me instead of pushing him away!  I can't thank you guys enough!"  L.W. - Colorado

So, what does the Attract True Love program involve?

Click here to find out more...

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Sexy Wedding/Anniversary Gift Ideas

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What are some sexy wedding gifts or anniversary presents?

We share some ideas!  

Listen now!

Bring Sensuality Back Into Your Sex Life!

Very few people know the difference between sexuality and sensuality.  People really use the two words as if they are the same thing.  Well we are here to shed some light on the subject for you out there.  We would love to hear from you how sensuality improves your sexuality and vice versa.  Send your comments or suggestions for other shows to sexychallenges@gmail.com

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Check out more at Sexy Challenges.

You might also want to pick up Sexy Challenges on iTunes, Amazon, and for your Nook.

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Have We Always Had a Great Sex Life?

We get asked often if we have always had a great sex life.  You might be a little surprised to hear our answer.  Our sex life is amazing today, but so are so many other areas of our relationship.  Our sensuality, our friendship, our love, and even our playfulness has improved because of what we have experienced and now teach to others.  Join us on this wonderful episode of Sexy Challenge Heartbeats and see just how we can help you.  We invite your comments and suggestions for shows, please send them to sexychallenges@gmail.com.

Check out more at Sexy Challenges.

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5 Minutes to More Mindful & Sacred Sex

Mindfulness stems from Buddhist teachings and can be quite profound once you raise your awareness and bring it into your life.  In fact, when you become more mindful, those around you become more mindful too.  You exude this state and it brings this type of being into the conscious and unconscious minds of those you encounter. 

In a sense the word “mindful” is a bit of a paradox.  When you practice this way of being you focus in gently on your present moment and the full experience of being present in that moment.  You allow all the pressures of work, household chores, your guilt for not exercising today, the stack of bills on the desk, etc. to fade from your consciousness as you focus solely on the moment.  Your mind is not “full” of all these other things.  Instead, it is free and clear (that is your intent) to accept your full experience.  Hey, doesn’t that sound awesome for lovemaking?  Being able to let go of the lists in your head and the stressors from the day and solely focus on the sensations and emotions that you are sharing with your sweetheart is a phenomenal benefit of learning to practice mindfulness. 

But, how can you let those things go?  Here are two options that can be done in five minutes. 

Mindful Shower Meditation:

When you take a shower give your full attention to the way the water feels as it runs down your body.  Feel the warmth.  You can even adjust the temperature just for the purpose of being mindful of how cooler water or hotter water affects different parts of your body.  As you lather soap feel its slickness, breathe deeply filling your lungs with the scent, feel your hands rubbing the soap over each part of your body.  Feel with your hands and feel with each individual part of your body.  Allow the sensations to be separate and then allow them to flow together as a whole.  Notice how your feet are touching the shower floor.  Notice the water pooling around your feet, running between your toes.  Focus momentarily on each toe and what it feels like as it helps balance you.  Do you feel the ridges in the shower floor or the bumps of a bathmat?  When you shift into a new position feel how the shower spray changes and touches different parts of your body.  Listen to it splattering against the shower wall, the shampoo bottles, the shower floor, and your body. 

Do this practice by yourself until you feel comfortable with it.  Later you can ask your lover to shower with you and the two of you can experience this together.  You can still focus on your own body, but you can also focus on your lover’s body.

This is a practice that may move into sensual intimate play with yourself or with your lover.  When practicing such deep mindfulness during your play you will open to the sacredness of lovemaking. 

Loving Kindness Mindful Meditation

This is very different kind of practice than the previous one.  With this practice you are going to focus sexual energy with loving thoughts towards the health and happiness of others.

Create a safe and sacred space in which to make love with your partner.  Use soft lighting or candles.  Play pleasing music that you both enjoy.  You may even choose to use scented oil or lube to enhance the experience.  Then engage in sensual play.  Throughout the experience focus on the moment – each feeling, each sensation, each breath (take notice of your breath as often as you can).  After the two of you are sated, lie quietly together with your hands placed on your lower abdomens, which will place them above your sacral chakras.  Your palms should be against your skin.  It is also powerful to place your thumbs together and the tips of your index fingers.  This will make the shape of a triangle. 

Then you are to focus loving thoughts towards either someone in particular or even the Universe as a whole.  Imagine them filled with happiness and vibrant health.  Focus solely on sending warm and loving light toward them.  In these moments of mindfulness, you are directing your sexual energy towards healing others and sharing the sacredness of two souls blending together in lovemaking.     

You can easily add these mindfulness exercises into your day-to-day life, which will open you to more sacred sensuality with yourself and with your lover.  This will help you bring sacred sexuality into your daily life as well.  (What is the difference between sensuality and sexuality? See a previous post we shared.)  It only takes five minutes.  Try it.  You can do it sitting at your desk as well – just focus in on the feel of everything, the scents, the things you see, the sounds you are hearing.  The where and when doesn’t matter once you are used to doing it.  And, the more you practice the more you will notice it simply becoming a normal part of you and your experience.  It will begin to transform you and bring you more joy, more peace and a deep sense of relaxation.

One final note – when random thoughts, worries about the kids or a noisy neighbor interrupt your mindfulness practice simply make note of it, allow it, accept it, and then refocus.  If you need to, return your focus to your breathing first, then move back into focusing on your sensations.  Do not judge yourself or become frustrated when other things enter.  It is going to happen.  Let it and then let it be.      

©2012

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D.

Rob Alex, M.Sc.

http://www.sexychallenges.com

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