Friday, May 17, 2013

10 Things Your Preacher Doesn't Want You To Know

10 Things Your Preacher
Doesn’t Want You To Know
*Prepare to either be offended or simply enjoy the lightheartedness.

  • 1.  WWJD
  • 1.     WWJRD (What would Jesus really do?):  He would laugh, love, and share mad, passionate, hot, steamy sex with his sweetheart! Why? Because he understood the beautiful power of energy – especially the creativity of sexual energy.
  • 2.     Sex is the ultimate life force: Isn’t it obvious?  What creates life?  What creates a child?  Sex!  What was the big bang?  An orgasmic explosion!  Where do new ideas and concepts come from? Creativity.  What creates?  Sex via the Divine.  Conception in all ways = the life force.
  • 3.     Orgasm is a prayer: Honoring your soul, your lover’s soul, spirit, the Divine, the Universe, God, Goddess, your Higher Self, etc. can be done through making love with your beloved and experiencing orgasm.  This experience is really a prayer.  It is a way to connect to the Divine source and appreciate ALL.
  • 4.     The People in the Pew In Front of You Are Doing It: Okay, maybe not at that very moment.  That might be…well, inappropriate in our society to have sex during church, in the pew, in front of everyone.  But, they ARE doing it.  They just may have been taught to believe it is supposed to be kept hush hush.
  • 5.     The Bible is Actually Fiction:  Eke – you say!  It was written/compiled around 325 AD – that is over 300 years after Jesus!  The First Council of Nicea was a group of Catholic Bishops who got together and decided what stories (passed down for hundreds and hundreds of years) would go in the Bible.  Come on – we all know that oral stories passed down get changed and filtered…the fish get bigger, the heroes become more heroic, the hardships harder to bare, etc.  Even the book of Genesis has two, maybe even three, versions of creation.  It is a nice novel filled with metaphors and symbolism – don’t fall into the trap of taking it literally.
  • 6.     The Ark Was a Floating Brothel: Well, at least for the animals – if you even believe there was an ark.  Those animals had better have been getting busy if they wanted to survive!
  • 7.     Mary Didn’t Ride an Ass, She Got Some Ass: Uh, oh!  Have we gone too far?  Nah!  Immaculate conception our asses.  She and Joseph made love before marriage.  Big fricking deal!  Well, it was then.  Joseph could have chosen to stone her to death!  Yes, the Divine is more powerful than we can comprehend, but believing that Mary and Joseph couldn’t possibly have made love prior to marriage is foolish.  It is simply ridiculous to make such a big deal out of them having sex – they were even already engaged.  Remember lovemaking is beautiful and these two people apparently shared their passion.  Then, surprise!  She conceived.
  • 8.     Jesus Got Busy: Jesus was a powerful, charismatic speaker.  He is an ascended master and is/was deeply enlightened.  But, he was a man too.  It is said that he and Mary Magdalene left the area after his supposed death, shared their physical and spiritual passions and had a number of children. 
  • 9.     You Can Direct Your Sexual Energy to Manifest: You can learn to direct the sexual and orgasmic energy that you and your lover draw to you.  You can manifest more money, physical healing, abundance, and so much more into your life and into the lives of those around you.  Making love with your sweetie offers you an opportunity to pierce the veil between the physical dimension and the spiritual dimension.
  • 10. The Preacher Has Downloaded Every Single Sexy Challenge: Now, why would he do that?  Because he knows the power of sex and the power of directing his and his partner’s sexual energy!  But, he wants to maintain his authority and his power – so he tells you it can’t be done and that having sex in this way or that way or during this time or that time is wrong and you will be punished.  Geesh!  You know in your heart the truth…and your body is trying to tell you!  Isn’t it time you listen?

So, right about now you are either pissed off, shocked, devastated, excited, have had the light turned on, or you are laughing your ass off.  We know the power of orgasmic energy and Sexy Challenges can take you there.  Guess what?  We aren’t going to be quiet about it either!  We are shouting it from the mountaintops.  Join in the spiritual revolution and tap into your Divine power!   
Rob Alex, M.Sc. & Janelle Alex, Ph.D.
Copyright 2013

Photo credit: © dedMazay -

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic and well done you two. It is truly brilliant. There are another 8 dimensions following sex but this is powerful enough for now. Shout - shout and shout again.