The Worst Ideas for a Date Night (Please Don’t Try These at Home)

 

The Worst Ideas for a Date Night

(Please Don’t Try These at Home)

We all want date night to be magical, romantic, and Instagram-worthy. But let’s face it—sometimes our “great ideas” are actually just… disasters waiting to happen. So before you plan your next romantic outing, here’s a list of the worst ideas for a date night that will make your partner question their life choices (and possibly yours).

1. IKEA Furniture Building

Nothing screams “romance” like sweating over an Allen wrench while arguing about whether that one screw is really necessary. Spoiler alert: it is. But by the time you figure it out, you’ll be eating takeout on the floor of your half-built bookshelf. Relationship test? Passed. Date night? Failed.

2. A Silent Retreat (on the First Date)

Imagine sitting across from someone you just met… in total silence… for 48 hours. Sure, it sounds zen, but it’s also the quickest way to find out that your partner chews louder than you ever imagined. Plus, eye contact gets really awkward around hour three.

3. Watching a Movie You’ve Already Seen… But Explaining Every Scene

You: “Oh, this part is hilarious, just wait.”
Them: thinking about the nearest exit.
Nothing kills the mood faster than a human DVD commentary track. Let them watch the movie without your director’s notes, Spielberg.

4. Extreme Couponing Together

Sure, saving money is sexy. But dragging your date through three different grocery stores to save 12 cents on soup? Not so much. Unless, of course, your idea of foreplay is arguing over store brand paper towels.

5. Haunted Hayrides (If You’re a Screamer)

Yes, it’s fun to cuddle up when things get spooky. But if your survival instinct is to scream like a banshee and sprint for the exit, your date is going to remember the night for all the wrong reasons. Bonus points if you trip over a pumpkin.

6. Double Dates with Your Parents

Look, we love Mom and Dad. But bringing them along to “date night” turns romantic dinner into a family intervention. And do you really want your dad giving relationship advice over the appetizer? Didn’t think so.

7. Taking Your Partner to Your Ex’s Band Gig

Sure, you’re just there to “support the music.” But trust me, your partner doesn’t want to hear three hours of garage rock ballads inspired by your ex’s heartbreak—especially when the lead singer keeps making eye contact with you.

8. Extreme Sports on the First Date

Skydiving. Bungee jumping. Shark diving. These might sound thrilling… until you realize nothing kills romance like a helmet, a harness wedgie, or accidentally screaming, “I REGRET EVERYTHING!” on the way down.

Date nights are supposed to bring you closer, not make you question if your partner has lost their mind. So skip the “silent retreats” and “ex’s band gigs” and stick to something that doesn’t end in bruises, therapy, or lawsuits.

Because at the end of the day, the best date nights aren’t about what you’re doing—they’re about who you’re with. (But still, for the love of love, don’t bring coupons.)